Thursday, March 5, 2015

Shocker: Obama And Bibi To Wed

The Jewish Week's Purim Spoof 2015: No, it's not really true ... but it could be. Except that it couldn't.

"Now I know what it means," said Bibi, "to be the recipient of Obamacasre."

Washington, D.C. — In a stunning turnabout in international detente, President Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu announced their intention to marry in a brief ceremony to be held before another joint session of Congress on Purim.

“The sexual tension between us has been building for years,” acknowledged Obama. “We’ve had our quarrels, as lovers do, but finally we just had to be honest and express how we truly felt about each other.”

Standing beside the president, a similarly exuberant Netanyahu burst out, “I adore him and can’t live without him. Why do you think we’ve had so many private meetings over the years?”

In lieu of an engagement ring, the Israeli leader proudly displayed an executive order issued by Obama directing the U.S. Air Force to “bomb the Hell” out of Iran.

“Sanctions, shmanctions” said Obama as he winked at Netanyahu and rubbed his shoulders. “Israel and my little Bibi have to come first.’

Yes, once again, it's time for

This year featuring such mishegas (that's a technical term) as

Not to be outdone, the New Jersey Jewish News, the paper on the Sitra Achra (Other Side; of the Hudson, that is) offers

This year featuring such shaylas (that's a technical term) as
4. Last year, Rambam Medical Center saw a spike in demand for what?
  • a/ reverse circumcisions
  • b/ sperm from donors who have served in Israeli combat units 
  • c/ sperm from donors studying in prestigious yeshivas 
5. A town in Spain agreed to change its unusual name after years of complaints. What is the name in English translation?
  • a/ “Hitler Town”
  • b/ “Auschwitz Gardens”
  • c/ “Kill Jews” 
13. What is the Yiddish name of a NASA spacecraft currently orbiting Mars?
  • a/ The Mars Atmosphere and Volatile EvolutioN, or MAVEN
  • b/ The Mars to Earth Navigational Space Hovercraft, or MENSH
  • c/ The Galactic EVolution ALtitudinal Transporter, or GEVALT

Abq Jew can't make this stuff up.

Happy Purim, World!

No comments: