Monday, May 13, 2019

The Land of Honey, Honey

Eurovision Tel Aviv 2019! Are you psyched for Eurovision? Abq Jew sure is. ICYMI: After Netta's grand victory in Lisbon last year, the 2019 Eurovision Song Contest will travel to Expo Tel Aviv!

The first Semi-Final will be held on Tuesday May 14; the second Semi-Final on Thursday May 16; and the Grand Final will take place on Saturday May 18. The three shows will be hosted by Bar Refaeli, Erez Tal, Assi Azar, and Lucy Ayoub.

Welcome to Tel Aviv IL

Never been to Israel? Never been to Tel Aviv? Lucy Ayoub and Elia Grinfeld welcome you! And in this delightful, highly-criticized (wait; you'll see) video, introduce you to the Holy Land's ... idiosyncracies.

And in case you're wondering: Yes, they meant lovely beaches. And God's watching from above.

Just think - for just a little bit more money than what they already paid for this PR piece, they could've hired a proofreader!

Tel Aviv Beach

They did hire one? Next time, hire two. But Abq Jew digresses. Big surprise.

Antway, here is a video of Kobi Marimi and Israel's 2019 Eurovision entry.

Kobi Marimi: Home 2019

And here is a video of Netta and Israel's winning 2018 Eurovision entry (see Netta's 'Toy' Brings Jerusalem Joy). It is thanks to Netta's winning 'Toy' that Eurovision 2019 is being held in Israel.

Netta: Toy 2018

Wondering how this year's competition stacks up? This video is a preview (recap) of all 41 Eurovision 2019 entries.

All 41 Eurovision 2019 Entries (Recap)

Got a favorite? Abq Jew is sticking with Israel and Kobi Marimi. Even though 'Home' doesn't sound at all like the old music we grew up with. Or grew older with. Or something.

You know - the good stuff. For example: Here is the earworm with which (with whom?) Abq Jew has been blessed since Jane Ellen's June 2018 OASIS class.

Ofra Haza: Chai 1983

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

'Havlicek Stole the Ball!'

One Everlasting Play: John Havlicek, a relentless force for the Boston Celtics over two decades and two championship eras and one of the greatest clutch stars in NBA history, died Thursday April 25 in Jupiter, Florida. He was 79.

Now, some of you young 'uns out there might think: Is this a Jewish story? So please let Abq Jew assure you: It is. It is.
  1. First of all: Basketball is Jewish. Everyone used to know that. Maybe you did, too. If not, you should read this and this.
  2. Second: Even though John Havlicek was not, as far as can be determined, a MOT - Johnny Most (1923-1993), the Boston sports announcer who called John Havlicek's most famous play, most definitely was.
  3. And third: Harvey Araton, who has written (see below) the best description of John Havlicek's glorious steal, is also a MOT.
John Havlicek and Coach Red Auerbach were hoisted by fans surging onto the Boston Garden floor in 1965 after the Celtics won their seventh consecutive NBA title. Boston won again the next year. Frank Curtin/Associated Press
One play epitomized Havlicek’s reputation as the pre-eminent hustle player of his time and possibly, as many older Celtics fan would argue, of all time. 
On April 15, 1965, the Celtics were clinging to a 110-109 lead in the decisive seventh game of the 1965 Eastern Conference final playoff series. With five seconds remaining, center Bill Russell’s inbounds pass from under the 76ers’ basket hit a guy wire overhead, giving the 76ers the ball and a chance to win the series. 
Guarding Chet Walker, a star forward for Philadelphia, in the area near the free-throw line, Havlicek began silently ticking off the five allotted seconds that 76ers’ guard Hal Greer had to inbound the ball. Then, at the count of four, Havlicek peeked back at Greer, who had just tossed the ball in Walker’s direction. 
Havlicek reached and tipped the pass to Celtics guard Sam Jones, who then dribbled out the clock to cement the Boston victory, setting off pandemonium in Boston Garden. Havlicek was hugged by Russell, mobbed by fans and stripped of his No. 17 jersey. 
The play was immortalized by the Celtics’ longtime radio broadcaster, Johnny Most, whose call — “Havlicek stole the ball!” — became enshrined in every highlight reel of the Celtics’ glorious history.

“Red Auerbach always said, ‘Look for an edge,’” Havlicek recalled in a 2015 N.B.A. video marking the 50th anniversary of the steal, referring to the Celtics’ organizational patriarch and nine-time champion coach. “I did what I was supposed to do. I never realized it would last this long, but it is everlasting.”

For the 50-Year Anniversary of the day that Havlicek stole the ball, the NBA shot this video - which also appears in Harvey Araton's Times article.

Harvey Araton also notes:
Havlicek, who averaged 20.8 points for his career, played in more games (1,270) for Boston than Russell, scored more points (26,395) than a later Celtic star, Larry Bird, and handed out more assists (6,114) than any other Celtic playmaker except Bob Cousy.
This brings us, as Abq Jew has previously (see Blood, Spit & Years) mentioned, closer to what is known in the trade as a:

As Nathan Heller wriote in the August 6 & 13 2018 issue of The New Yorker:
Long before the founding of Rome, the Etruscans measured time by something called the saeculum. 
A saeculum spanned from a given moment until the last people who lived through that moment had died. It was the extent of firsthand memory for human events—the way it felt to be there then—and it reminds us of the shallowness of American history. 
Alarmingly few saecula have passed since students of the Enlightenment took human slaves. We are approaching the end of the saeculum of people who remember what it feels like to be entered into total war. 
The concept is useful because it helps announce a certain kind of loss: the moment when the lessons that cannot be captured in the record disappear.

Many of John Havlicek's achievements, of course, have been captured in the records of basketball. But (except for family and close friends) he will be remembered for one thing. Not at all a bad thing. In fact, a very good thing.

But one thing.

What one thing would Abq Jew like to be remembered for? What one thing would you, his loyal readers, like to be remembered for?

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Summer 2019 @ OASIS Abq

Great Courses of Jewish Interest
Abq Jew is pleased to inform you that
OASIS Albuquerque has just announced
their Summer 2019 line-up of classes!
Registration opens on
Wednesday May 8
but you can Wish List your selections now.

OASIS Albuquerque Executive Director Kathleen Raskob continues (as always) to bring you new and interesting class offerings, and continues to make sure there are plenty of courses of Jewish interest.

This session's courses and instructors include but are by no means limited to:

The Three Rs of Healthy Spiritual Living
Thursday 27 June 2019 @ 10:30 am - #97
Instructor: Paul Citrin
What It Is: The three Rs of healthy spiritual living from a Jewish point of view are reconciliation, resilience, and rejoicing. We examine texts and role models which relate to these three Rs with the goal of reflecting on how we incorporate these elements into our lives.

Catholic Rescuers in the Holocaust
Thursday 11 July 2019 @ 10:30 am - #98
Instructor: Christopher Zugger @ Our Lady of Perpetual Help
What It Is: While not enough people were involved in rescuing and sheltering Jews during the Nazi occupation of Europe, those who did are recognized as Righteous Gentiles by the Yad Vashem Institute in Israel. We look at Catholics who were motivated by faith to take bold actions in assisting Jews, looking at their lives and the dangers inherent when interceding for Jews from 1939-1945.

The Spiritual Journey of Simone Weil
Monday 22 July 2019 @ 10:30 am - #100
Instructor: Frank Yates
What It Is: Simone Weil lived only 34 years (1909-1943) but made an enormous impact in philosophy, political theory, cultural criticism, and the Judeo-Christian tradition. From a secular Jewish home she joined the French Resistance. A profound spiritual experience led her to the Christian faith but she was never baptized. Her writings Waiting for God, The Need for Roots, Love in the Void: Where God Finds Us, and Intimations of Christianity Among the Ancient Greeks have become classics in our modern world.

The Beginnings of American Global Diplomacy
in the Early 20th Century
Wednesday 24 & Friday 26 July @ 10:30 am - #64
Instructor: Noel Pugach
What It Is: Just before the beginning of the 20th century, American leaders shifted their attention to American participation in world affairs. Why did they do it? And why did they focus on China and North America? Who were the key figures? What did they achieve and how did they do it? Finally, what were the consequences of these actions? These questions are important because American activity between 1898-1917 set the foundation for a continuing and growing role in global affairs.

Unexpected Bride in the Promised Land:
Eyewitness to History in Palestine & Israel
Monday 5 August 2019 @ 10:30 am - #65
Instructor:  Iris Keltz
What It Is: Resolving the ongoing tragedy in Palestine and Israel may be a central issue of our time. When Iris Keltz found sanctuary with the Palestinians during a war that changed the face of the Middle East, she was forced to confront personal myths. Raised in a family that stressed the narrative of Jewish suffering, the Israeli military victory in 1967 should have been a jubilant moment for her. This lecture includes a discussion and reading from Unexpected Bride in the Promised Land.

Brujeria: A History of Witchcraft in New Mexico
Wednesday 14 August 2019 @ 1:00 pm - #123
Instructor:  Rob Martinez
What It Is: The history of witchcraft in New Mexico is a fascinating subject that spans the Spanish Colonial period, the Mexican period, and the US Territorial period. In this presentation about brujería and hechicería, witchcraft, and sorcery, Rob Martinez looks at actual case studies from historical documents that help to explain why New Mexico is still a hotbed of witchcraft beliefs.

Solomon Bibo, Jewish Governor of Acoma Pueblo
Thursday 22 August 2019 @ 10:30 am - #124
Instructor:  Gordon Bronitsky
What It Is: The 1880s were a time of great change in New Mexico as the railroads were coming through bringing new products, new markets, and new people. In 1885, Solomon Bibo, a Jewish merchant originally from Germany, became Governor at Acoma Pueblo, where he served three terms. He is the only non-Indian ever to serve as official leader of an Indian tribe in New Mexico. Learn about the Acoma people, Solomon Bibo, and the setting that led to this unique achievement.

Regular OASIS Albuquerque instructor (and award-winning composer and recording artist) Jane Ellen also continues (as always) to bring you new and interesting class offerings, and continues to make sure there are plenty of courses of musical and Jewish interest.

Jane's courses this session include but are by no means limited to:

Musical Satire 
From Tom Lehrer to the Smothers Brothers
Thursday 25 July 2109 @ 1:00 pm - #82
What It Is: Singer-songwriter Tom Lehrer (1928- ) gained a national following in the 1950s and 60s as a piano-playing political satirist, poking fun at politicians, academia, Cold War paranoia, and anything else that tickled his fancy. Tom (1937- ) and Dick (1939- ) Smothers followed in his footsteps by turning their popular folk song act into mainstream comedy with a biting political edge. Despite popular success, their Comedy Hour became one of the most controversial television programs of the Vietnam War era.

How African Americans Invented American Music
Part 3: Jazz to Hip-Hop
Thursday 11 July 2019 @ 1:00 pm - #80
What It Is: The focus of this series is the contribution of African American composers, musicians, and entertainers to the tapestry of American Music. An infinite diversity of musical styles, ranging from blues to jazz to rock and roll to house (EDM, or electronic dance music), would not exist were it not for the phenomenal talents of African Americans. Part 3 (of three parts) examines Part 3 presents a survey of 20th century styles including jazz, rhythm & blues, rock, soul, and Motown, forward to the 21st century. You do not need to have taken Part 1 or Part 2 to enjoy this class.

Minnie's Boys: Groucho, Harpo,
Chico, Gummo, & Zeppo Marx
Thursday 22 August 2019 @ 1:00 pm - #28
What It Is: Five brothers, sons of Jewish immigrants born in New York City, banded together to become the first family of American comedy in vaudeville, in theater, on Broadway, and in motion pictures from 1905-49. Breaking into the movie business at the beginning of the “talkie” era with their zany and surreal comedic style, five of their 13 feature films have been selected by the American Film Institute as among the top 100 films of all time.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Stronger Than Hate April 2019

Poway Strong: Abq Jew is still too sad, angry, and afraid to even begin to address the tragedy at Chabad of Poway. As he expects many of you, his dear readers, also are.

Yes, these are exactly the same words that Abq Jew published (see Stronger Than Hate) exactly six months ago - on October 28, 2018.

The Jewish communities of New Mexico grieve tonight, as the joy and peace of Passover's end have given way to tragedy in Poway, California. We stand in solidarity with the people of the San Diego area, resolute against anti-Semitism and defiant in the face of any attempt to terrorize our fellow Jews.

Federation will be monitoring the situation in Poway as it develops. Meanwhile, may those whose hearts and bodies have been injured experience healing, and may all who mourn find peace.


The Board and Staff of the Jewish Federation of New Mexico

Pittsburgh, Christchurch, NZ, Sri Lanka and now Poway.

Six months to the day after the worst assault on the Jewish people in American history at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh, tragedy has again struck a Jewish house of worship on Shabbat, and on the last day of the Passover holiday. We once again find ourselves sending condolences and prayers to the grief-stricken community of Poway, California.

While our hearts are heavy, our ADL San Diego Regional Office is currently on the ground in Poway working closely with our numerous partners in Federal, State and Local Law Enforcement that have been the cornerstone of many aspects of ADL work in the San Diego area for years. The Sheriff’s Department currently has lead on the case, and at their request, we are jointly leading a community support center to help the victims, families and other affected community members. We are grateful to local law enforcement for their swift response.

Our Center on Extremism is analyzing the social media footprint of the alleged assailant who turned himself over to authorities. And, ADL regional offices around the country are reaching out to local Chabads and Jewish Federations to offer support and ensure that adequate security procedures are in place. We have recently launched a new initiative to enhance the safety, security and resiliency of religious communities in the U.S. with the Secure Community Network of the Jewish Federation. Every community and every country needs to protect religious freedom and safety so that all of us can pray for peace, in peace.

This shooting is a reminder of the enduring virulence of anti-Semitism. It must serve as a call to action for us as a society to deal once and for all with this hate. People of all faiths should not have to live in fear of going to their house of worship. From Charleston to Pittsburgh to Oak Creek and from Christchurch to Sri Lanka, and now Poway, we need to say “enough is enough.” Our leaders need to stand united against hate and address it both on social media and in our communities.

I am now on the ground in Poway where I am able to support our local office’s efforts and the greater community here, which needs to come to grips with this attack. On an MSNBC interview earlier today, I said “We stand together in these difficult moments. This is when it counts.”

Please join me in standing with the community of Poway.

Jonathan Greenblatt
CEO and National Director

Today we saw another horrific act of antisemitic hate at Congregation Chabad synagogue in Poway, California, six months to the day after the deadly shooting that killed 11 people at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh.

What we know right now is that a 19-year-old man opened fire in the synagogue this morning, leaving one dead and three injured.

Once again, a young white male has apparently been influenced by dangerous online white supremacist propaganda. And once again, we see how this propaganda can lead to terrorist acts.

A manifesto believed to belong to the shooter said that the March 15 massacre in Christchurch, New Zealand, was a “catalyst” for today’s attacks.

The manifesto is filled with common tropes of the white supremacist movement, including many that motivated the New Zealand mosque attacker and the Pittsburgh synagogue attacker, such as the myth of a “white genocide” perpetrated by Jewish people and a host of other antisemitic conspiracy theories.

Today’s attack comes after a year of intense violence inspired by the racist alt-right. Since 2014, the SPLC has counted at least 81 people killed and another 104 injured by individuals influenced by the alt-right.

Our hearts go out to the families of the victims and everyone who is affected by this terrible tragedy.

In solidarity,

Heidi Beirich, Intelligence Project Director

POWAY (CBSLA) — The woman killed in Saturday’s attack on a synagogue in Poway, Calif. had stepped in front of the suspected shooter in order to shield the rabbi.

Witnesses say Lori Kaye was killed after stepping in between the rabbi and the gunman. Those who knew the 60-year-old Kaye described as a very generous person.

The rabbi shot while conducting services in Poway, California, told US media Sunday that his congregation would continue to grow from the “horrific” attack and would not allow terrorism to win, as he described coming face-to-face with the killer.

Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein was in stable condition after being shot in the hand by a gunman ....

When three decades ago, as a young rabbi, he sought to establish the congregation, “Lori was one who helped me secure the construction loan,” the rabbi said. “She’s been a steadfast member, supporter, philanthropist. Just a kind soul. Everyone in the community knew her.”

“She is such a dear friend. I’ve known her for 33 years. I am so heartbroken and saddened by this senseless killing.”

Goldstein urged the US government to step up security at all sites of worship and said the Jewish community would not be cowed.

“We are so grateful to live here in this country that protects our rights to live openly and proudly as Jews. One thing is for sure… we will not be intimidated by this. Terror will not win,” said the rabbi.

“I pray for healing during this time of pain and grief. And I ask that we all do something, something to add more light to combat this evil darkness that’s out there.”

By the Grace of G-d

Dear Friend,

Our hearts are shattered by the cold-blooded attack on our brothers and sisters—Jews of all walks of life gathered yesterday at Chabad-Lubavitch of Poway in celebration and prayer to the Almighty on Shabbat and the final day of Passover.

While commemorating the Jewish people’s miraculous liberation from bondage and persecution more than 3,300 years ago, and preparing to remember their departed loved ones at the Yizkor service, these beautiful people were heinously attacked for no reason other than the fact that they were Jewish.

We offer our immense gratitude to G-d that the full scope of the perpetrator’s evil intent to commit mass murder was miraculously unrealized when his rifle inexplicably jammed, though tragically not before snuffing out the life of a most beautiful human being and injuring others.

Indeed, we mourn the holy soul of community trailblazer and activist Lori Gilbert-Kaye—Leah bat Reuven—who was so cruelly torn from our midst, and pray that G-d provide strength to her family and that they find solace in the many people she touched and the myriad activities she set in motion. The fruits of the immense good she planted on this earth will forever serve as extensions of her very life.

We pray for the healing of all the injured, including Rabbi Yisroel Goldstein—Yisroel ben Chana Priva—who lost his index finger while being shot at from almost point-blank range and yet instantly ran to protect the children; 8-year-old Noya bat Eden (Dahan) and her uncle, Almog ben Ruti (Peretz) visiting from Sderot, Israel, and no stranger to terrorist attacks.  

We pray for the healing and comfort of their families, the entire Poway community, the Jewish people worldwide, and the entire world community—men, women and children of every type, each created in the image of the benevolent G-d whose hearts ache from senseless tragedies like these.

The fact that these G-dless acts have multiplied of late underscores with even greater urgency the critical need for proper moral education for our youth, rooted in the belief in a Supreme Being—Whose Eye that Sees and Ear that Hears should preclude anyone from devaluing the life of another human being.

Indeed, we are grateful to live in a country that is predicated on these values and thus protects our right to live openly and proudly as Jews, and we value immensely the friendship and outpouring of support from so many of our fellow Americans.

We are particularly grateful to those whose brave stand against the shooter saved additional lives, including the city’s police department and all levels of government from the municipality on upward who have been working selflessly to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the Jewish community in Poway and around the country.

At the onset of the Passover holiday only one week ago, at familial and communal seders held worldwide (including those conducted by thousands of Chabad-Lubavitch institutions across the globe), millions of Jews proclaimed that “[though] in every generation they rise to destroy us… the Holy One, blessed be He, saves us from their hand,” due to the unbreakable bond of His everlasting covenant with the Jewish people.

In light of this covenant, the Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, of righteous memory, taught that we may not hide or cower even in the face of pure evil. To the contrary, we must drive it away.


Cold-blooded, fanatical, baseless, relentless hatred can be uprooted from its core only by saturating our world with pure, undiscriminating, uninhibited, unyielding love and acts of kindness, and by teaching that to all our children, in our schools and our homes.

Today more than ever, the Rebbe taught, we must spread love and unity; positivity and light. We must fulfill our covenant to spread the light of G-d, to act upon the urgent responsibility we all share to recognize and nurture within each other the loving handiwork of the Creator of all things.

Even as we grieve and mourn, we must increase exponentially our acts of goodness and kindness.

As Jews it surely behooves us also to increase our adherence to our special mitzvot, like donning tefillin (for men) and lighting Shabbat candles (for women), and to help others do the same. While performing our increased mitzvot let us keep in mind that in so doing we are extending the life of Leah bat Reuven.

Apropos to the stirring prophecy read by the Jews gathered at Chabad-Lubavitch of Poway yesterday, along with their brethren around the world, may we finally merit to the time when the evils of war, hate and jealousy will be eradicated forever, when the world will instead be filled with the knowledge of G-d, with the coming of our righteous Moshiach speedily in our days.

With deep pain, endless love and fierce determination,


The Team

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Passover: The Last Days

Dayenu. Valley Stream. Jokes and Music: Had enough matzah? Had enough chicken soup and matzah balls? Had enough Pesachdik "cake" and "cookies"? Well, we've still got a few days to go.

Pesach Day 7 this year falls on Friday April 26. Which is the anniversary, say חז״ל (Our Wise Men, of Blessed Memory), of the Crossing of the Red Sea. Which in turn means we get to read שׁירת הים (The Song of the Sea) in shul - always a treat.

Pesach Day 8 this year falls on Saturday April 27. But in ארץ ישראל (The Land of Israel) - Pesach ends when Shabbat begins, on Friday night. So in Israel, they'll be reading Acharei Mot on Shabbat, while we in חו״ל (Outside The Land) will be reading Pesach Day 8.

Which also means that thereafter, the Parsha of the Week will not be the same in Israel as it is elsewhere; Israel will be one week ahead. And it will stay ahead until Saturday August 10, when we join up again for שׁבּת חזון, The Sabbath of Vision, so we can observe תשׁע בּאב (Tisha b'Av) together as one.

Abq Jew knew you'd be thrilled.
So in the meantime …
A Cessna plane came to a stop in front of a home in Valley Stream, NY.
Theodore Parisienne

Here's a wonderful photo from Michael Gold's article in The New York Times. Which reminds us all that salvation may arise, and that the Messiah may come, only at the last possible moment. Or as Kafka stated:
The Messiah will come only when he is no longer necessary; he will come only on the day after his arrival; he will come, not on the last day, but on the very last.
A Crashing Small Plane Was Snagged by Power Lines, Stopping a Foot From Disaster
The aircraft first clipped the roof of a church, then several power lines, local officials said, before becoming entangled in the cables like a fly in a web, suspended a foot above the front lawn of a brick home. 
When the Nassau County police arrived at the scene, they found the plane dangling from the utility cables, nose down, hovering as if freeze-framed a second before tragedy. The pilot and two passengers, mostly unharmed, were sitting on a nearby curb. 
By [the next day], the Cessna had been extricated from the power lines ... It was sitting in the front yard of a house on Clarendon Drive in Valley Stream, a village of about 37,000 people, two miles northeast of Kennedy Airport in Queens.

Ah, yes, Valley Stream. Of which Wikipedia proclaims:
The incorporated Village of Valley Stream is inside the southwest part of the town of Hempstead, along the border with Queens. 
The village is served by the Long Island Rail Road at the Valley Stream station, located at Sunrise Highway and Franklin Avenue. 
It is also served by the Gibson station at Gibson and Munro boulevards, but only along the Far Rockaway Branch. 
Money Magazine ranked Valley Stream as "the best place to live in New York" for 2017.

Abq Jew and his parents, of blessed memory, lived on the bottom floor of 35 Gibson Blvd, Valley Stream, from 1956 through 1962. Abq Jew's grandparents, also of blessed memory, lived on the top floor.

A joint purchase, Abq Jew surmises. Maybe ... $10,000 each? Less (GI Bill)? Today worth $560,204, Zillow says.

Six years of blessed memories. Within easy walking distance of Brooklyn Avenue school, Sunrise Jewish Center, Gibson station, the candy store, and everyplace Abq Jew needed to go.

A thousand kids on the block. We played in the street. The LIRR tracks were behind the houses across the street. You got used to it.

The Luncheon on the Grass  Paul Cezanne

So here is a nice story for Passover. Paul Cezanne doesn't really have anything to do with it, but hey, it's a nice painting, don't you think?
A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. 
A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him. 
Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the blind man. 
The blind man ran his fingers over the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed,
“Who wrote this crap?"
Which immediately brings to what is left, after all these years, of Abq Jew's mind -

In case you don't know, OJTJ creator Sam Hoffman explains -
Old Jews Telling Jokes was born in an empty storefront in my hometown of Highland Park, New Jersey in the summer of 2008. 
Eric Spiegelman and Tim Williams of Jetpack Media had asked me if I had any ideas for an internet show and I suggested: “how about we shoot my father and his friends telling jokes?” 
Surprisingly, they agreed. The rules would be simple. Every joke teller had to be at least sixty years old and “Jewish.” The age thing I would be strict about, the Jewish thing would be in spirit. 
If nothing else, we would make portraits of people who had lived at least six decades and that would be something to see.
Here is one of Abq Jew's favorite jokes. It has nothing whatsoever to do with Paul Cezanne. Or, for that matter, Passover. But, as we count the days toward the Holiday of Shavuot, this joke reminds us that, whenever we're in trouble, we can hold הקבּ״ה (The Holy One, Blessed Be He) accountable.
We signed a contract!

In conclusion (Abq Jew knows you were hoping), here is one of Abq Jew's favorite songs. No, it's not a Passover parody - see last week's blog post It's Pesach 5779! for that.

In fact, it's a song about Paul Cezanne! Who was not Jewish (although his good friend Camille Pissarro was; he came from a Jewish family on the island of St Thomas) and was not known for telling jokes.

In memory of Great Grand Mama Sheila Kronrot.
Missed you at the seders, Mom.