Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Slouching Towards 2022

It's Really Not The End of The World: But please - DON'T LOOK UP!
Now streaming on Netflix! Where it is described as

Don't Look Up

Two astronomers go on a media tour to warn humankind of a planet-killing comet hurtling toward Earth. The response from a distracted world: Meh. Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence, Meryl Streep. 

This movie is offbeat, provocative, witty, and irreverent.

SPOILER ALERT:  OK ... the movie really is about the end of the world.
The end of the world is shown in this offbeat, provocative, witty, and irreverent video clip:

Or perhaps not so irreverent. The almost final spoken dialogue:

We really did have everything, didn't we?

Boy, it makes you think. But not for long! It seems like just a minute or two. Then the movie picks up 22,740 years later, when the people who left Earth before the impact (yes, there were a few, well-connected survivors) land on a lush alien planet, ending their cryogenic sleep. 

Where they meet one of the inhabitants of said lush alien planet.

Bronteroc Portrait
"I believe that's called a bronteroc."

Here, you can watch this offbeat, provocative, witty, and irreverent video clip that explains everything:

In case English (British or American) is not your first (or even second) language, here is an offbeat, provocative, witty, and irreverent video clip that shows Meryl Streep in yet another memorable performance.


And as we New MexiJews slouch towards the year 2022 of the Common Era, Abq Jew must (he must! he must!) remind you of one more of his favorite Meryl Streep performances. 

This is from the ending of the 1990 movie Postcards From the Edge
Mike Nichols' hilarious blockbuster film about a very real mother-daughter relationship set against the backdrop of today's Hollywood. Based on Carrie Fisher's best-selling novel.
Here, you can watch this offbeat, provocative, witty, and irreverent video clip that will amaze you if you're a Meryl Streep fan - like anyone isn't.

"I'm Checkin' Out" was written by Shel Silverstein - which makes this a very Jewish song. In 1990, the song was nominated for (but, amazingly, did not win) an Academy Award. 

Oh. The song that did win for Best Original Song was Stephen Sondheim's "Sooner or Later," in the movie Dick Tracy

Which brings to what is left, after all these years of misuse, of Abq Jew's mind, another little-known piece of Jewish American musical ... history. Definitely not trivia.

Wholesale

Shortly after Thanksgiving 1961, two very talented vocalists tried out for the part of Miss Marmelstein in the Broadway production of I Can Get It for You Wholesale. One of them - 19-year-old Barbra Streisand - got the part.

The other - Naomi Ellen Cohen - later changed her name to Cass Elliott, and was eventually able to find work.

Everything
"We really did have everything, didn't we?"

Monday, December 27, 2021

Spring 2022 @ OASIS Abq

Great Courses of Jewish Interest

Jewish Star

Abq Jew is pleased to inform you that
OASIS Albuquerque has just announced
their Spring 2022 line-up of classes!
Registration opens on

Wednesday January 5
but you can Wish List your selections now.

OASIS Abq

OASIS Albuquerque Executive Director Kathleen Raskob and her staff continue (as always) to bring you new and interesting class offerings, and continue to make sure there are plenty of courses of Jewish interest.

OASIS Albuquerque

This spring, OASIS Albuquerque plans to offer many
classes LIVE and many classes via Zoom.

Masks and proof of vaccination
are required for all in-person OASIS classes.


Man Plans God Laughs
 
This session's courses and instructors include, but are by no means limited to:

US Foreign Policy

US Foreign Relations
and President Harry S Truman
Thursday January 27 @ 10:00 - #144
Instructor: Noel Pugach
What It Is: Franklin D. Roosevelt’s sudden death and the succession of Vice President Harry S. Truman stunned and worried the foreign policy establishment. Truman seemed provincial and lacked substantive experience. And yet, the former Missouri politician and senator performed superbly, thanks to his common sense, historical perspective, and able advisers. Truman responded to Europe’s collapse, Soviet Union challenges, China’s Communist takeover. And then, what did it mean to be president at the onset of the Cold War?.

Wheels Museum

WHEELS Museum Tour
Tuesday February 8 @ 10:00 - #229
Instructor: Leba Freed
What It Is: Visit the Wheels Museum in the Albuquerque Rail Yards and learn about its history and the history of the incredible individuals who built our city and state. For decades, as many as 2,000 workers repaired 40 locomotives every month. Tour the museum’s exhibits which include antique cars and fire truck, model train layouts, rare “train” artifacts, a World War II exhibit, and Alvarado room. Note: Admission is included in class fee. Limited enrollment.

Vilna Gaon Museum

Jewish Vilna:
The Jerusalem of Lithuania
Thursday March 3 @ 10:00 - #150
Instructor: Michael Nutkiewicz
What It Is: Vilna (Yiddish)/Vilnius (Lithuanian)/Wilno (Polish) was the most vibrant Jewish city in Europe before World War II. It was home to revolutionaries, secular Yiddish scholars, and rabbinic geniuses. The city was claimed by several nations and occupied by many armies. Jewish Vilna disappeared during the Holocaust but its contributions to Jewish scholarship, art, and literature remain with us. Find out why Vilna was called “The Jerusalem of Lithuania.”

Jesus

Who Was Jesus?
A Conversation -
Rev Frank Yates and Rabbi Harry Rosenfeld
Monday March 28 @ 10:00 - #198
What It Is: This conversation between two friends, Rabbi Harry Rosenfeld and Rev Frank Yates, explores the meaning of Jesus for the Jewish and Christian traditions. Part of our conversation is responding to the book Jesus the Jew: A Historian’s Reading of the Gospels by Geza Vermes, a noted Jewish scholar who focuses on the historical Jesus. This conversation hopefully can help all participants understand how Jesus both unites and divides the Jewish and Christian traditions. This conversation is to further inter-faith dialogue and cooperation.

Music

But Wait

Jane Ellen Farewell

Beloved OASIS Albuquerque instructor (and award-winning composer and recording artist, and now Floridian) Jane Ellen also continues (as always) to bring you new and interesting class offerings, and continues to make sure there are plenty of courses of musical and Jewish interest.

Jane's courses this session include, but are by no means limited to:

Lesley Gore

Lesley Gore:
It's Her Party
Friday January 21 @ 12:30 - #169zoom
What It Is: At the age of 16, Lesley Gore (1946-2015) scored a number one single with the angst-laden teenage pop hit “It’s My Party.” After recording a string of top 40 hits including “It’s Judy’s Turn to Cry” she turned to acting, eventually becoming a television personality, successful songwriter, and LGBT activist. The song “Out Here on My Own,” co-written with brother Michael Gore for the award-winning film Fame (1980) was nominated for an Academy Award.

Hedy Lamarr

Hedy Lamarr:
Electronic Technology Pioneer
Thursday April 7 @ 2:30 - #112zoom
What It Is: Hedy Lamarr (1914-2000) was billed by Louis B. Mayer as “the world’s most beautiful woman,” but there was far more to this remarkable woman than MGM’s sexist billing would have you believe. Lamarr appeared in 30 films across a 28-year career in Europe and the United States; more importantly, she was a gifted inventor who advised Howard Hughes on airplane design and pioneered the technology that forms the basis for today’s WiFi, GPS, and Bluetooth communication systems.

Thursday, December 23, 2021

Deck Us All +10

With Boston Charlie:  This has absolutely nothing to do with Albuquerque and little to do with Yiddishkeit.  What it has to do with is honoring one's parents.


In this, Abq Jew's season of yahrzeits, he honors (once again) his father, Richard Yellin, who loved Walt Kelly's Pogo cartoon strip; and his mother, Roselyn Yellin, who loved his father.

Best of Blog
first published December 23, 2011

Abq Jew also sees it as his responsibility to pass down the tradition.  There are whole generations of American Jews who have never heard this song.  Enjoy!



The complete lyrics are:
Deck us all with Boston Charlie,
Walla Walla, Wash., an' Kalamazoo!
Nora's freezin' on the trolley,
Swaller dollar cauliflower alley-garoo!

Don't we know archaic barrel
Lullaby Lilla Boy, Louisville Lou?
Trolley Molly don't love Harold,
Boola boola Pensacoola hullabaloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Polly wolly cracker 'n' too-da-loo!
Donkey Bonny brays a carol,
Antelope Cantaloupe, 'lope with you!

Hunky Dory's pop is lolly gaggin' on the wagon,
Willy, folly go through!
Chollie's collie barks at Barrow,
Harum scarum five alarm bung-a-loo!

Dunk us all in bowls of barley,
Hinky dinky dink an' polly voo!
Chilly Filly's name is Chollie,
Chollie Filly's jolly chilly view halloo!

Bark us all bow-wows of folly,
Double-bubble, toyland trouble! Woof, woof, woof!
Tizzy seas on melon collie!
Dibble-dabble, scribble-scrabble! Goof, goof, goof!
Some background, courtesy of Wikipedia:
Pogo is the title and central character of a long-running daily American comic strip, created by cartoonist Walt Kelly (1913–1973) and distributed by the Post-Hall Syndicate. Set in the Okefenokee Swamp of the southeastern United States, the strip often engages in social and political satire through the adventures of its anthropomorphic funny animal characters.

Pogo combined both sophisticated wit and slapstick physical comedy in a heady mix of allegory, Irish poetry, literary whimsy, puns and wordplay, lushly detailed artwork and broad burlesque humor. The same series of strips can be enjoyed on different levels both by young children and savvy adults. The strip earned Kelly a Reuben Award in 1951.

Pogo 

Probably the most famous Pogo quotation is "We have met the enemy and he is us." Perhaps more than any other words written by Kelly, it perfectly sums up his attitude towards the foibles of mankind and the nature of the human condition.

Friday, December 17, 2021

Singing Engineering

At The Technion: In the summer of 1970, Abq Jew set out for the Land of Israel, to study at the Technion, the Israel Institute of Technology. One of the premier tech schools in the world. In Haifa, one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

Technion

Abq Jew studied Civil Engineering. The lectures, workshops, and labs were entirely in Hebrew. So were some of the textbooks, although most were in English. 

And, at a time when Americans were studying in droves at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem - and at the University of Tel Aviv and the University of Haifa - there was only a really small bunch of us "Anglos" at the Technion.

We soon discovered exactly why that was: the Technion didn't give anyone a free ride. Studying in any program at the Technion was hard. Long hours in class, long hours doing "homework," long hours just thinking. Make or break.

It was a tough year. But Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel, two Jewish guys from Queens, got Abq Jew through it. Their album Bridge Over Troubled Water had come out in January 1970, and Abq Jew knew most of the songs by heart.

The Boxer, not from The Concert in Central Park on September 19, 1981
But from concerts at Madison Square Garden on October 29-30, 2009
And from the album Bridge Over Troubled Water, 1970

Now the years are rolling by me
They are rocking evenly
And I am older than I once was
And younger than I'll be
But that's not unusual

No, it isn't strange
After changes upon changes
We are more or less the same
After changes we are
More or less the same

In the clearing stands a boxer .....

Boxer

Tuesday, December 7, 2021

Joseph Dreams

Of Real Estate: According to the polling website FiveThirtyEight, a person in the United States is expected to move 11.4 times in his lifetime. Abq Jew doesn't know who that person is. But - so far - Abq Jew has moved 12 times. 

This number, of course, doesn't include Abq Jew's first move from Coney Island Hospital to 70th Street in Brooklyn. And it also doesn't include Abq Jew's last prospective move to Shaar Hashomayim (not the synagogue in Montreal). 

Unless the Messiah comes ... pretty soon.

We are now in the Biblical month of December, where Torah aficionados rejoice at all the stories about our man Joseph's dreams. Joseph dreams of cattle and wheat, which is not to mention bread and wine. And maybe - according to the musical, anyway - he dreams of the Land of Israel.

California

Too bad. Just a little bit farther, and he (and Moses, of course; plus all the Children of Israel) could have done some California Dreamin'. Abq Jew's parents, of blessed memory, dreamed about both.

Downtown Sunnyvale

And, in 1963, wound up, with pre-Bar Mitzvah Abq Jew, in ... well, not beautiful downtown Sunnyvale. But the beautiful edge of Sunnyvale (Santa Clara was just over our back fence), in a brand new tract housing development. 

Orchards
That replaced old, old orchards.

And that was a long drive (even in those days) from the wealthier, established Jewish strongholds of Palo Alto (to the north) and San Jose (to the south). 

Well

As it turns out, Abq Jew's ancestral home in Sunnyvale, California, was just sold - for the first time since Abq Jew's father sold it in 1997, a few years after Abq Jew's mother left this world. And on the 14th civil yahrzeit of Abq Jew's father's passing.

Just Sold

Hone Sold

SOLD

November 29, 2021
$2,000,000

3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
1,753 square feet
$1,141 per square foot


Last sold in 1997
$384,000
$219 per square foot

First built & sold in 1963
$24,000
$13 per square foot

Home Sold Sunnyvale

Yes, indeed. Abq Jew grew up (as much as anyone in California can) in a 2 million dollar home. Of course, Abq Jew's parents bought it for somewhat less - perhaps as much as $24,000. Perhaps.

And - what Abq Jew always finds so perplexing. Which is not to say unnerving. 

The house is nothing special.

It's relatively small - 1,753 square feet. Yes, it has heating of some type - but no A/C. Not even a swamp cooler. And no basement - just a crawl space. And that's after the now-previous owners upgraded the property (turned the garage around to face the street, not sideways) according to California's weird tax laws. 

83

Eighty-three (83) is the number of times the house appreciated in value in the 58 years between 1963, when Abq Jew's parents bought the house, and now. Or maybe it's eighty-two (82) times. Abq Jew is not really sure of how the math works.

8

That's an annual appreciation rate of 8%. And yes, Abq Jew is sure - he looked it up. Nationally, annual house appreciation rates are typically around 3.7%. Which proves the oft-stated point that the three things that matter most in real estate are:

Location

Which brings us to beautiful, uptown Goshen. As in the Bel Air of Egypt (not the village in New York. Or Indiana. Or wherever.)

Goshen Uptown

And, Abq Jew must tell you, to the joke hidden carefully in Vayigash, this week's Torah portion. Please allow Abq Jew to paraphrase the relevant verses of Chapters 46 and 47 of Genesis.
Joseph tells his mishpocha: When you go visit Pharaoh, he's going to ask you,"What do you guys do for a living?" You gotta tell him,  
"We're cattlemen, and always have been."  
"Xnay on the sheepnay! Egyptians don't like shepherds. If they find out you're really shepherds, they won't let you live in Bel Air Goshen."
Sheep Cattle
So what happens? The brothers go visit Pharaoh, and sure enough, Pharaoh asks them, "So what do you guys do for a living?" 
And sure enough, the brothers answer, in loud unison,

"We're shepherds, and always have been. 
How do we get to Bel Air Goshen?" 

What is Pharaoh's response? Pharaoh says unto Joseph,
"Oy, am I glad they're your family, not mine."
Glow Sheep

And speaking of sheep and cattle (we were, weren't we?), surely you are now aware that Sheep Wars (or Sheep and Cattle Wars) have been fought since there were sheep. Or cattle. Which goes back to Day 6 of Creation.

If you're thinking that no, that was Day 5 - well, you're wrong. The Bible tells us that Day 5 was devoted to fish and birds. You know, the evolutionary ancestors of the land creatures that God created on Day 6. 

Welcome to Ashkelon

And finally, as long as we're talking about Abq Jew's parents, of blessed memory, and (lehavdil) property values and real estate - let's talk about our 1970-72 ancestral flat on Simtat HaSneh in the truly beautiful city of Ashkelon. 

The JTA's Linda Gradstein just published:
A major Israeli city is just 9 miles from Gaza. Some Americans are choosing to move there anyway.

ASHKELON, Israel (JTA) — When people ask Nechama Greenfield why she and her husband chose to move just nine miles from Gaza in June, less than a month after Israel’s latest conflict with Hamas, she usually jokes that they were looking for a little excitement. 

But the potential for dark humor isn’t what drew her to Ashkelon, a burgeoning Israeli city that was bombarded with hundreds of rockets from the coastal strip earlier this year, killing two people. Greenfield, a retired physiotherapist with two sons in Israel, says her family appreciates Ashkelon’s communal feel. And she isn’t fazed by the prospect of violence, which poses a risk of some kind to almost every part of the country.

That attitude is common among Ashkelon’s English-speaking immigrants, whose numbers appear to be slowly growing despite the violence. When Rabbi Matt Futterman, who used to lead Ashkelon’s Conservative synagogue, arrived in 1986, he estimated that the city had only a few dozen English-speaking immigrants, referred to in Israel collectively as “Anglos.” Thirty-five years later, that number has risen to around 500.

Ashkelon still isn’t a main draw for the thousands of Americans who move to Israel each year. Just 75 Americans have moved from the U.S. to Ashkelon since 2017, according to statistics from Nefesh B’Nefesh, a nonprofit that manages American immigration to Israel. 
That’s compared to more than 1,000 American immigrants, in total, who have moved in the same period to the central Israeli cities of Raanana and Modiin — both of which have historically been popular with Anglos. The statistics do not include American immigrants who have moved to Ashkelon from another city in Israel. 

And a bit later:

To the Anglos living in Ashkelon, the intimacy of the city’s English-speaking community is part of its appeal. After serving at the Conservative synagogue’s pulpit, Futterman and his wife decided to move back to the U.S. to care for aging parents. But when it came time to retire, they returned to Ashkelon.

Says Rabbi Futterman:

The city is small and gorgeous, and you can get from one end to the other with no traffic. There are good schools and good restaurants. A lot of English speakers are social workers, psychologists and teachers.

And how about real estate and property values?

Ashkelon’s overall population has exploded in recent years. When the Futtermans came in 1986, there were about 50,000 people living here. Today the population has tripled to nearly 150,000, making it Israel’s twelfth-largest city. 

The population boom came in part due to the launch of a direct, hourlong train line between Ashkelon and Tel Aviv in 2013, which made the city more accessible to those who work in Israel’s economic capital but want less expensive housing. 

A three-bedroom apartment in Ashkelon costs less than half of what it would in Tel Aviv or Jerusalem. 

But, to be fair - that's not saying much. In one building, two years ago four-bedroom apartments in Ashkelon were going for about $420,000. Today they have jumped to $750,000. That's an annual appreciation rate of about 33%.

Tel Aviv

And finally, finally - ICYMI - Gad Lior of Mosaic Magazine tells us:
How Tel Aviv Became the Most Expensive City on Earth

Tel Aviv was not planned to be the heart of a metropolis, numbering almost five million people, from Netanya to Gedera. Tel Aviv itself is actually a small city, with only 400,000 inhabitants, whose land reserves are running out. 
So it is no wonder that a three-room apartment in Tel Aviv is rented out for 8,000 shekels, [about $2,500], and in Berlin, a similar apartment will be rented out for 600 euros [about $680]—and rent cannot be hiked up beyond a limited rate stipulated by law, while no such law exists in Israel.
Albuquerque
Location, Location, Location.
And a lot more.

Thursday, December 2, 2021

The Joyous Maccabees

Win! A Torah Trifecta! Abq Jew must tell you that this Shabbat, Shabbat Miketz, is not an ordinary, run-of-the-mill Shabbat, For not only is it Shabbat Miketz - it is also Rosh Hodesh Tevet, and it is also Shabbat Hanukkah. Which means -

Torah Trifecta

For us Jews, Shabbat is approaching - and it's still Chanukah! In fact, this very Shabbat we will have the rare treat (and fulfill the extra mitzvot) of reading from ... not one; not two; but three (3) Sifrei Torah -

One for the regular weekly portion (Miketz); one for Rosh Hodesh (Tevet); and one for the holiday (Hanukkah)!

Miketz Darius Gilmont

Three (3)! Yes, three (3)! How often, Abq Jew hears you ask, do we read from three (3) Sifrei Torah? Oddly enough (not really), Chabad.org has the answer.

Every year on the holiday of Simchat Torah, three different portions of the Torah are read during the morning service. a) V'zot Haberacha, the last portion of the Torah; b) the holiday maftir reading, discussing the day's Temple service; c) Bereishit, the first portion of the Torah.  
If a synagogue has three Torah scrolls, then each of these portions is read from another scroll. If not, then one of the scrolls is quickly rolled from one portion to the next between readings. 
There are three other times during the course of a year when, if various calendric variables fall in place, three portions of the Torah are read on the same day: 
1. When Rosh Chodesh Tevet is on Shabbat [like this week]. Since the month of Tevet always begins during the holiday of Chanukah, in such a case there would be three readings: a) The weekly reading. b) The reading for Rosh Chodesh (head of the month). c) The holiday reading. 
2. When the month of Adar (or the second month of Adar in a leap year) begins on Shabbat [not this year]. The extra portion of Shekalim is always read on the Shabbat immediately preceding the month of Adar, or on Rosh Chodesh Adar itself when it falls on Shabbat. On such a week we would read: a) The weekly Torah portion. b) The reading for Rosh Chodesh. c) The Shekalim reading. 
3. Same thing when the month of Nissan begins on Shabbat [yes this year - on April 2]. The extra portion of Hachodesh is read on the Shabbat immediately preceding the month of Nissan, or on Rosh Chodesh Nissan when it falls on Shabbat. On such a Shabbat, the weekly Torah portion is read, in addition to the Rosh Chodesh and Hachodesh readings. 
In any of these cases, three Torah scrolls are taken out of the Ark, if the synagogue has that many.

But what happens if the synagogue doesn't have that many Torah scrolls? Then the congregation gets to meet

Tircha D Tziburah
Tircha D. Tzibura

Tircha D. Tzibura is known throughout the Jewish world, even (especially?) Abq. Some say she has always been here; others, that she just arrived from the Coast. With her flaming red curls, sensible shoes, and half-asleep expression, she is easy to spot.

OK ....  Tircha d'tzibura ("a burden on the congregation") is a Rabbinic / Talmudic expression that denotes an activity that takes longer than most people can bear, and that, therefore, should be avoided. While some claim that tircha d'tzibura cannot apply to shul on Shabbas - after all, where else ya gonna go? what else ya gotta do? - others are sure that it does.

The classic example: the many occasions during the year when we take two (or three!) Sifrei Torah (Torah scrolls) from the Ark, so we don't keep the congregation waiting while we roll the scroll back and forth to find the next reading.

Abq Jew must point out that the correct phrase is
"Sifrei Torah," and not the often-heard "Torahs." 
There is only one Torah.


The Klezmatics


Happy Joyous Hanukkah

Hanukkah Brooklyn

Shabbat Shalom!
Happy Rosh Hodesh!
Cheery Chanukah!