Monday, January 29, 2018

JFNM's Indignant Burial Fund

Tired of Living? Scared of Dying? No wonder. Living, especially living well, i.e., with health insurance, can be so expensive you could die. But it's not like dying comes free, either.

What Abq Jew thinks the Malach HaMaves will look like

Have you tried "pre-planning" (as opposed to "planning") a funeral lately? Think of it as being just like planning a wedding, only you know that one of the invitees will a) definitely show up, but b) won't eat much.

If the cost doesn't kill you, the choices you'll have to make will. Ashes or kishkes? Above ground or below ground? New suit, old suit, or shroud? With a full body wash or without? Pine, cedar, or chipboard? Land of Enchantment, Holy Land, or Land of Our Zaydes (New York, Chicago, Florida; but, please G-d, not New Jersey)?

You will be pleased to know, then (Abq Jew is sure), that the Jewish Federation of New Mexico (JFNM), aka "The Federation," has just established Jewish New Mexico's first and only

Indignant Burial Fund

for members of the community who are "mad as hell" (you should forgive the expression) about a) their own dying; or b) somebody else's dying.

And they're just not going to take it anymore.

Actually, the Malach HaMaves says they'll take it. But the Indignant Burial Fund offers counseling, camaraderie, and, most importantly, cash to ease the pain of separation ... from your financial well-being.

It is extremely important for the New Mexico Jewish community to come to grips with the fact that the success of the Indignant Burial Fund - and all the good work that JFNM does today and has done for the past 70 years - utterly depends upon the generosity of said New Mexico Jewish community.

So please give when the JFNM calls
on Super Sunday - February 4.

But first -

Super Blue Blood Moon! With Lunar Eclipse!
Wednesday January 31 Only!

We've got your first-in-150-years Super Blue Blood Moon
and Lunar Eclipse
on Wednesday January 31.

Which also happens to be Tu B'Shevat,
the New Year of the Trees!

Followed, on Thursday, by 3 B'Shevat!
OK ... actually followed by the 16th of Shevat ... don't ask.

And on Friday, we've got Groundhog Day!
Kudos to Punxsutawney Phil, Buckeye Chuck, Staten Island Chuck, Dunkirk Dave, Sir Wally Wally,
Jimmy, General Beauregard Lee, and Shubenacadie Sam. Where is Albuquerque Al?

And at the end of February, we've (finally) got Purim
In the spirit of which funny holiday this blog post has been thoughtfully and emotionally composed!

No comments: