Wednesday, March 1, 2023

A Susa March!

Strolling Sura & Waltzing Pumbedita: Abq Jew must apologize. (He must! He must!) After scouring the Jinternet for appropriately scathing Purim satire, he has come up with nothing but


Nor has Abq Jew been able to think up anything satirically. Those leftover pieces of Abq Jew's mind, after all these lost and lonely years, have gone blank. Seemingly. Sorta.

Abq Jew is sure that you, his loyal readers, will remember 2015 (see Placido Domingo Comes to B'nai Israel); 2016 (see Maestro Rabbenu Placido Domingo);  and 2017 (see Scarlett Johansson in Albuquerque). To say nothing of 2012 (see West Bank Settlements To Be Removed).

Gone. Replaced by Real Life.

Iron Man

KRQE informed us this week that

Albuquerque Iron Man sculpture toppled in downtown car crash

10-foot tall art made of car parts and scrap metal lands on top of truck

A massive tribute to one of Marvel Comic’s most prominent superheroes came crashing down on a truck in downtown Albuquerque Monday. The more than ten foot tall Iron Man metal sculpture landed on the roof of a truck around 1 p.m. in what appeared to be a two vehicle crash.

It happened at 4th Street and Lomas, near Albuquerque’s three major courthouse buildings. The sculpture sits on the Sunwest Silver Company’s corner lot and is held up with several metal cables bolted into the concrete.

KOB picked up the story:

What’s next for Albuquerque’s totaled Iron Man?

In just a few seconds Monday afternoon, Albuquerque lost its superhero. 

Albuquerque Police Department confirms a Parks and Recreation truck had a green light at Lomas and 4th  St. in downtown when a truck turned in front of it, and then slammed into the Iron Man statue on the corner. No one was hurt in the crash.

“I was amazed that it was gone,” said Charles Cooper, a fan of the statue. “The first thing when I drive by here, I always try to look at them. He’s very iconic, everybody loves him.”

The video of the crash and photos of the aftermath traveled fast across social media. Some called the crash devastating and a bummer, others say people can’t drive in this city, and that’s why we can’t have nice things.

Food Bag

NBC News (and everyone else in the world) is reporting:
Man found carrying around a mummified corpse up to 800 years old in a food delivery bag in Peru

Photos show a skeleton in the fetal position lying in a red bag with a reflective inner lining, commonly used by food delivery companies.

A mummified corpse up to 800 years old was found in a food delivery bag in Peru, authorities in the South American country have said.

Photos released by the Directorate of Culture in the southeastern city of Puno show a skeleton in the fetal position, lying in a red bag with a reflective inner lining, commonly used by food delivery companies. It bears the logo of Pedidos Ya, a Uruguayan takeout company popular across South America.

The directorate said in a statement Sunday that the body of “an adult mummified male individual,” with a “relative chronology of 600 to 800 years old,” was discovered during a joint operation with the Peru National Police.

The body has become a property of the state under national heritage laws.

Local media company Noticias Sin Filtro Puno TV published an interview with Julio Cesar, who said the body belonged to him. 

“It sleeps in my bedroom, with me. There’s my bed, the TV set and next to it, there’s Juanita. I take care of it. It’s like, if you’ll pardon the expression, as if it were my spiritual girlfriend.” he told the media outlet, using the name he has for the body.

Scans later found that the body is, in fact, that of a male, a Juan, not a Juanita.

Cesar had been taken into custody, the AFP news agency reported.

The Peruvian newspaper Diario Cajamarca Noticias reported that the body was in the possession of Cesar's family and that he had taken it out to show his friends. 

 AA Bus

Well, sorta. Those who have lived there know for sure that New York is often Crazy Town. Here is NBC New York reporting another example thereof.

Man Steals American Airlines Bus at JFK Airport, Doesn't Get Caught Until Manhattan

He drove the thing all the way to Manhattan before he was caught

A man allegedly stole an idling American Airlines bus from a parking lot at JFK Airport early Wednesday, authorities say.

No one was in the bus, which was jacked from Lot 12 at the Queens hub shortly before 2 a.m. The NYPD says they think the vehicle was left running and the suspect, a 43-year-old known to them, jumped in and drove off.

He made it all the way down the Grand Central Parkway into Manhattan, then drove southbound on the FDR before he was eventually caught at Cadman Plaza West and Middaugh Street, officials said.

No injuries were reported.

Way Better

Susa Tapestry

Well, sorta. You maybe should recall this image from last week's blog post, Getting Better, Ken O'Hara.

In which Abq Jew said that this was a scene from the famous Susa Tapestry, showing Haman leading Mordechai through the streets of Shushan. And that the tapestry, created in the 5th century BCE, depicts the entire story of Purim. 

Did Abq Jew really do that? No! Abq Jew just copied the work of Historicus Hasidicus on Twitter.

As it turns out - as Historicus Hasidicus himself has admitted, with obtuse, profuse apologies - there is no such thing as the Susa Tapestry. Nevertheless - about Susa the ancient city, Wikipedia tells us:

"Shushan" redirects here.

Susa was an ancient city in the lower Zagros Mountains about 250 km (160 mi) east of the Tigris, between the Karkheh and Dez Rivers in Iran. One of the most important cities of the Ancient Near East, Susa served as the capital of Elam and the Achaemenid Empire, and remained a strategic centre during the Parthian and Sasanian periods.

The site currently consists of three archaeological mounds, covering an area of around one square kilometre. The modern Iranian town of Shush is located on the site of ancient Susa. Shush is identified as Shushan, mentioned in the Book of Esther and other Biblical books.

The English name Susa is derived from Ancient Greek Sousa (Σουσα)...

John Philip Sousa

Nope - don't go there. The name Susa reminded Abq Jew of the name Sura. You know, as in the now-famous Sura Academy. Of which Wikipedia reports:

Sura Academy (Hebrewישיבת סורא) was a Jewish yeshiva located in Sura in what is now southern Iraq, a region known in Jewish texts as "Babylonia". 
With Pumbedita Academy, it was one of the two major Jewish academies from the year 225 CE at the beginning of the era of the Amora sages until 1033 CE at the end of the era of the Gaonim. Sura Academy was founded by the Amora Abba Arikha ("Rav"), a disciple of Judah ha-Nasi. 
Among the well-known sages that headed the yeshiva were Rav HunaRav ChisdaRav AshiYehudai ben NahmanNatronai ben HilaiSaadia Gaon, and others.

Once upon a time, when he was very young, Abq Jew applied for admission to Sura Academy. He was not fated for acceptance thereto, but two of his high school classmates were.

And although the three of us (and many, many others) were members of CSF (Cowabunga Scholarship Federation), Abq Jew must point out (he must! oy, he must!) that he and only he was a National Merit Scholarship finalist. 

Their GPAs may have been good, but they both got lower scores on their SATs. Oh - did Abq Jew forget to mention that they were both athletes? 

Abq Jew was not; he was a member of the marching band.
And the only MOT in his graduating class.

Angry Dog

It was 55 years ago. Someday Abq Jew may let this go.

Even though the far distant Meshuggenah State University offered him a scholarship, Abq Jew chose to attend the U of Cowabunga - they were good, they were close, and their tuition was dirt cheap. 

It wasn't until years later that Abq Jew attended Pumbedita Technical Academy, fondly known as Pumbedita Tech. Of which Wikipedia reports:

Pumbedita Academy or Pumbedita Yeshiva (Hebrewישיבת פומבדיתא) was a yeshiva in Babylon during the era of the Amoraim and Geonim sages. It was founded by Judah bar Ezekiel (220–299 CE) and, with the Sura Academy founded in 225 by Abba Arika, was an influential and dominant yeshiva for about 800 years.

Pumbedita Academy served as a field of growth to the greatest Jewish sages for generations to come, among them: Rabbah bar Nahmani ("Rabbah"), Rav Yosef b. HiyyaAbaye and Amora sage Rava, Savora sages Rabbah Jose and Simuna, and Geonim Rab Rabbah Gaon and Paltoi ben Abbaye Gaon, as well as Sherira Gaon and his son, Hai Gaon

As it turns out - Historicus Hasidicus created his Sura Tapestry showing Haman leading Mordechai via the nifty Bayeux Historical Tale Construction Kit

Using same, Abq Jew has now created his Pumbedita Tapestry, depicting his own enlightening experiences at that esteemed institution.

Pumbedita Tech

In which we may discern the figures of The Fully-Tenured Professor; his (of course his) lowly low-paid Teaching Assistant (TA); a group of standing Students wondering what the heck The TA is talking about; and two seated Students attempting to divine the meaning of it all - and, failing that, attempting to calculate when their student loans will be paid off.

Wait theres more

Abq Jew salutes the legacy of Huey "Piano" Smith - an American rhythm-and-blues pianist whose sound was influential in the development of rock and roll - who died on February 13. He played a lot more, but he was especially known for three songs:

  1. Sea Cruise (see January 2017's Ready For a Sea Cruise?)
  2. Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu
  3. Don't You Just Know It, one of Abq Jew's favorites (see below)

One More Thing

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