Monday, March 16, 2020

This is Our Leader

Our President! Our Country! The United States of America is in trouble of indeterminate depth. Of this we are sure - and of very little else.

It is, however, our fortune - bad fortune, but fortune nonetheless - to have as our Leader and Commander-in-Chief -

President Donald J Trump

Our president is not a man who stares at goats. No, our president is a uniquely fearless man who stares at solar eclipses.

OK ... he only did it once.
And he stopped after a while.

Although there are many, many who do, please DO NOT call our president stupid. His beliefs, yes. His values, yes. His policies, yes. But not the man himself - who, as we all know, is a

Very Stable Genius

And yet. For some crazy reason, Abq Jew is reminded of the famous Apes Don't Read Philosophy scene in A Fish Called Wanda:

Abq Jew must (he must! he must!) tell you about Theron Mohamed's article, published last week in Business Insider. Which begins:
'Stupid beyond even my wildest fantasies': Krugman, Summers, Lagarde ridicule Trump's coronavirus response
  • Paul Krugman, Christine Lagarde, and Larry Summers ripped into President Trump's coronavirus response on Thursday.
  • "This is stupid beyond even my wildest fantasies," the economist and columnist tweeted about Trump's decision to restrict European travel to the US. "THE VIRUS IS ALREADY HERE."
  • "I doubt very much that diseases have passports and are aware of borders," the European Central Bank's president told CNBC.
  • Summers, a former US Treasury secretary, blamed the president's "imprudent rhetoric" for Thursday's brutal market sell-off.
  • Trump probably set "a new world record for presidential market value destruction," he tweeted.

And from Chaim Mendel, Abq Jew's Facebook friend:
it may be the messiah or it may the apocalypse it may be the rebbe or it may be jesus. it may be time for revolution or it may be time for full oligarchy. but at least we have our toilet paper -- our asses are covered! we will tell our children of this glorious day, and the great courage it took to brave the lines at costco-- we even had to buy bbq potato chips because they were out of our favorite flavor.  
and, as we bravely go forth to watch weeks of netflix while the real working class continues to work (or stay home without pay), let us spend a moment of silence on the toilet in memory of all those who didn't stock up soon enough, praise the supply chain and shudder gratefully at the thought, "what would have happened... if we didn't have toilet paper?

And as long as we're all sitting here ...

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