Yom Yerushalayim!

Jerusalem Day!  In 1969, Sidney Goldfoot wrote An Open Letter to the World from Jerusalem.  Alas, his message is still important today.  Courtesy of Aish Video.

 

For those of us living in חו״ל who lived through those terrible days leading up to the Six Day War - let's remember the sacrifices and celebrate the victory.  Lift a glass of wine!

Rabbi School Dropout

Wanna Be A Rabbi?, Part ב:  Are we beginning to sense a theme here?  Don't worry - Abq Jew will, eventually, go back to his usual announcements of upcoming Abq Jewish events, his commentaries, and his other contributions to Jewish life in Albuquerque and beyond.  But first, here is a message from Pizmon.

What - you don't know Pizmon?  From their website:

Pizmon is the co-ed Jewish a cappella group from Columbia, Barnard, and the Jewish Theological Seminary. We sing a variety of different genres, including liturgical pieces, Israeli rock and pop, English parodies, Yiddish classics, and children's songs. We primarily perform off-campus, teaching and sharing our music with Jewish communities around the world. To find out more about what we do and who we are check out our press package. To inquire about our availability or purchase CDs, please check out the rest of the website.

Why, you ask, are Jewish a capella groups popular?  Because they can perform on Shabbos without the ... awkwardness of violating (according to many) the prohibition of playing a musical instrument thereupon.  Note: Technically, the prohibitions are against a) carrying the instrument (the same reason we don't blow shofar on Rosh HaShanah when it falls on Shabbos); and b) tuning the instrument. 

So then, you ask, why can't we simply a) pre-position the musical instrument (or shofar) at the performance venue (or synagogue) before Shabbos; and b) pre-tune said musical instrument (or refrain from doing so during the performance)?  These are excellent questions.

Moving right along, here is a video that shows you what Pizmon can do.  Note: This is not the song that Abq Jew wishes to concentrate on - but it is a great song.

Now, here is the song that Abq Jew wishes to concentrate on.  It, too, is a great song. It's from Pizmon's third album, Greensleeves, and is set to the tune of Beauty School Dropout, from the musical Grease.  Pizmon is now up to their ninth album, some of which are available at CDbaby.com.

Rabbi School Dropout

Words: Natie Fox - Pizmon dropout

Music: Jim Jacobs & Warren Casey

Your story's sad to tell, a Yiddish ne'er do well
Most farblundgent Jewish soul on the block
Your future's so unclear now, what's left of your career now
Can't even get a trade-in on your Tanach

Rabbi School Dropout, your proof of smicha won't be sent
Rabbi School Dropout, missed your behina, flunked cholent
Well, at least you could have taken time to learn Torah and Jewish roots
After spending all that dough buying nice clothes to look farputzed

Hey Yid get moving, to yourself don't be a tease
What are you proving, you've got the seichel but no kishkes
If you go for your smicha you're just being a nincompoop
Turn in your Talmud Bavli, go back to law school

Rabbi School Dropout, no ordination day for you
Rabbi School Dropout, when they said "Moses" you said "Who?"
Well, they couldn't teach you anything you think that you're so glorious
No one would ask of you a shaila unless he was an apikoros

Chabibi don't sweat it, you're not cut out to play this tune
Better forget it, who wants a shiur from a shmagoon?
Now, you love your Bubbe, you love your Zeyde, but still the world is cruel
Wipe off that holy face and go back to law school

Hey you don't blow it, please take the good advice I've sent
Baby you know it, even though you're so farklempt
I've told you what to do, so listen you, I've really got to fly
Gotta be going to that Beis Midrash in the sky

Abq Jew wishes he could point you to an uploaded MP3 of Rabbi School Dropout - but he is not sure that he can legally do that, even though other Pizmon songs are available on YouTube.  Abq Jew affirms that artists are entitled to the fruits of their labors.  So buy the album - you'll love it!

A couple more points about Wanna Be A Rabbi?:

• Let it be noted that Abq Jew's fateful JTS Talmud encounter with Rabbi Saul Lieberman, of blessed memory, was one of the Rabbinical School entrance requirements, which Abq Jew had never completed.  Since Abq Jew was never formally admitted, he cannot be a Rabbi School Dropout.
• Let it also be noted that Rabbi Min Kantrowitz, Director of the Jewish Community Chaplaincy Program of JFSNM, has correctly pointed out that Abq Jew overgeneralizes.  Rabbi Min states:

  In the Rabbinical School I attended, Academy for Jewish Religion, California, rabbinical leadership, pastoral care, creating meaningful ritual and developing a deep personal spiritual connection are very much a part of the curriculum.

• And thus, let it also also be noted that Abq Jew stands (actually, sits) corrected; but that AJRCA's is one of but a few rabbinical programs that are thus enlightened.

And one more thing:  Menachem Creditor, now Rabbi Menachem Creditor, was a 1995-1996 member of Pizmon, and sang tenor on this Pizmon album.

Wanna Be A Rabbi?

Don't Give Up Your Day Job:  Not everyone who becomes a rabbi goes to rabbinical school, and not everyone who goes to rabbinical school becomes a rabbi.  Abq Jew is one of those who went (without actually being admitted; it's a long story) and didn't.

Why didn't he?  Somewhere along the way, Abq Jew found out that the rabbi has to sit on the bimah for the entire day of Yom Kippur - all the services, all the prayers, all the cantorial ... stuff.  Sometimes with a choir.

That's the story Abq Jew has told for the past thirty-odd years.  But the truth is - he couldn't get past the Jewish Theological Seminary's in-person Talmud entrance exam, administered by Rabbi Saul Lieberman, of blessed memory.

Rabbi Lieberman was such a formidable scholar that ... when he went to interview at JTS, he was warned: "Don't tell them you know the entire Babylonian Talmud by heart."  Sure enough, when asked about the extent of his learning, Rabbi Lieberman claimed to know only half the Talmud.  "Which half do you know?" he was asked.  And Rabbi Lieberman responded: "Which half would you like to hear?"

Abq Jew profoundly and profusely apologizes.  It's an old joke - and  my rabbinical school colleagues, many of whom went on to brilliantly successful careers, swore (Billy Nader) it really happened.  But the truth is - it took smarts and "background" and sitzfleisch to become a rabbi, especially at the Seminary, especially in those years.

Since those years, Abq Jew has begun to think about What Might Have Been (it's a symptom of old age).  Here are a few things that Abq Jew has learned since his Seminary days:

• To have any credibility within the Jewish communities of North America, you are way better off with the title "Rabbi" than without it. This is true despite any knowledge or experience - "background" - you may have.  The titles "Dr" and "PhD" are helpful, but are most powerful when combined with "Rabbi". 
• The title "Rabbi" has traditionally been conferred based almost entirely on scholarship. When push comes to shove, ya gotta know your stuff - in order to serve your congregation and community. This was especially true of the Seminary, and Abq Jew suspects it still is. Six years of study barely skims the surface of the Sea of Talmud.
• Scholarship is no longer needed in order to serve your congregation and community. What is needed today is leadership - and leadership is not taught at rabbinical school.
• Love of Judaism, skilled performance of Jewish rituals, and being a rabbi are very different things.

There are today many more alternative paths to the title "Rabbi" than ever before.  And that's a good thing. Still, the experience of rabbinical school is so unique, so powerful, that it has stayed with Abq Jew through the years.  It was an honor and a privilege just to eat in the same dining hall as my teachers and colleagues.

Want to know what rabbinical school and the rabbinical profession are like these days? Jean Meltzer-Maskuli, a Daytime Emmy award winning writer and rabbinical student at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College, posted this delightful video to show us.

Jean writes a blog, From Hollywood to Holyland, and occasionally writes for Punk Torah. If you're thinking about rabbinical school - and especially if you're not - you'll find Jean's writing well worth your time. About the video, Jean writes:

I never thought this simple, little Purim Shpiel video made for my dear friends and colleagues at RRC (www.rrc.edu) would garner so much attention! I have lots to say from all the feedback I've received from across the globe, but here's the really important part of it...

While this video was made in jest, I want to be clear... there has not been one minute of one day since entering the rabbinate, when I have regretted my decision.

So watch and enjoy.  And remember - there's always law school!