Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Yontif Ends, Creation Begins

And Now It's Time For Noah: The traditional among us have just pulled through the last of Tishrei's "Three-Day Yontifs." All of us have re-read, for the gazillionth (yet it always seems like the first) time, the Bible's stories of Creation.

Stegosauruses had beautiful singing voices, and they knew
all the words to The Seekers' greatest hits.

And this coming Shabbat (a Shabbat Rosh Hodesh!) we will again have the honor of re-reading the story of Noah. And lamenting the tragic loss of Earth's entire dinosaur population, who (quite literally) missed the boat.


In particular, we mourn the loss of the stegosaurus branch of the family. For as the renowned satirical website Clickhole informs us -
There’s still a great deal that we don’t know about dinosaurs, but researchers have just made an exciting announcement that gives us a clearer picture of what these extraordinary beasts were like when they roamed the Earth millions of years ago: 
Prominent paleontologists from around the world have collectively agreed to start saying that 
stegosauruses had beautiful singing voices, 
because it’s a nice thought and it’s not like they’re hurting anyone. 
Wow. This is an incredible scientific discovery that, while not technically true, is innocuous enough that we can probably all just roll with it. 
Paleontologists arrived at the monumental agreement earlier this week at the 2017 North American Paleontological Conference in Ann Arbor, MI where they decided that they couldn’t think of any real negative consequences to telling everyone that stegosauruses liked to sing happy songs when they were around other friendly dinosaurs and scary songs when they ran into T. rexes ....
The carnival is over.

But yes, the carnival of Yontif after Yontif after Yontif is over, and another Tishrei (the 5,778th) fades into history.

Did you remember to make Eruv Tavshilin (whereby one prepares a cooked food prior to a Jewish holiday that will be followed by the Shabbat)?

Never mind. If you forgot (as did Abq Jew, every week) you may rest assured that the rabbis of our community did not forget, and made E T on behalf of all of us.

It's what rabbis do.
Abq Jew thought you'd like to know.


Once they were young, but The Seekers are now old. Not as old as the dinosaurs ... but getting there. Still, their version of The Carnival Is Over is (in Abq Jew's unhumble opinion) the best of all time.


So now that Tishrei 5778 is almost over, what do we New MexiJews have to look forward to?
  1. Rosh Hodesh MarCheshvan, which begins on Thursday night, October 19, and continues through the end of Shabbat, October 21. Why a two-day Rosh Hodesh? Because of the Rosh Hashanah postponement rules, of course!
  2. The entire month of MarCheshvan ("Bitter" Cheshvan, wherein we ain't got no holidays). You'd think the Holy One, Blessed Be He, could have have spread the festival joy around a bit ... but you'd be wrong. 
  3. Chanukah, Hanukkah, and the Festival of Lights all begin with the Lighting of the First Candle on Tuesday night, December 12. (The Abq Bio Park's River of Lights, btw, runs from Saturday, Novembr 25, through Saturday, December 30, with time off for Christmas.)
  4. Pesach! The First Seder will be Friday night, March 30, 2018. Thus, the Second Seder will be Saturday night, March 31, 2018.
For those of us (Abq Jew included!) who are really, really keeping score, we look very forward to

The First Seder of Pesach 2021 will be Saturday night, March 27.

Things go all gaflooey (that's a technical term) when Passover begins on a Saturday night. You could write a whole Wikipedia article about it. Or do lots of research on how, why, and what happens. And then write a blog post. Just wait!


In conclusion, Abq Jew reminds you that all this started with the dinosaurs. And Abq Jew reminds you that The Walk of Life Project offers a Jurassic Park ending that superbly fits this occasion.





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